Purpose

It's remarkable how a person changes throughout their lifetime. On this Good Friday, as I sit and think about the ultimate sacrifice, how Jesus laid down his life for the sins of mankind, I am marveled at the stages I have gone through in my own life and how far God has brought me. Starting out as an innocent and shy child, moving into a selfish teenager, then off to college to go crashing into a brick wall (so to speak) of life's trauma as a young adult on my own. Being hurt by a few people along the way, I turned to alcohol and drugs as a means of coping. I led that completely unsatisfying life for quite a number of years, deciding then to go searching for my "true love".....which didn't go quite as planned.

I wound up married two different times to physically abusive men, third marriage wound up being a  mentally abusive situation. But looking back on my life I see that God has used those situations in my life for good. When I think about God sending His son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins, I think what love God has for us that He sent His son to DIE for us!! This was God's will, the purpose He had in this ultimate sacrifice was to free us from sin (bondage) so that we may have everlasting life with God our Father.

Hmmm....God's purpose. Have you ever stopped to think about what YOUR purpose is? Like, what did God have in mind when He created YOU? Well I think about that, and wind up overwhelmed and sometimes crying. Crying because of where I have come from, and how I have changed. That song "Amazing Grace" comes to mind (which was my Daddy's favorite song....so it already makes me sob when I hear it). In that song it says "that saved a wretch like me - I once was lost but now I'm found". I am in awe that God could have a purpose for "a wretch like me", someone who was once a crackhead. Someone who slept around trying to find love (in all the wrong places of course....which is a bad country song, right?). BUT...in spite of who I was, God continues to use me for His purposes. I know that one purpose He has for me is to be a comfort to other women that have been battered and are in that time of crisis. I was volunteering at a women's shelter for battered women, which I have taken a leave from to complete my Bacherlor's degree, but plan on going back to it as I am not only helping those women, but they are helping me heal as well.

So over the years I have grown (thankfully) into a better human being, a caring and compassionate person that I believe God intended me to be. I know my purpose in life is to help others, to love on those that feel unloved, to share God's love with them and to be a help where I can be. The part of the purpose I don't always know is "where" God will have me go or "what" He will have me do next. He reveals those in His own time. My latest journey is a short term missions trip to Ethiopia coming up in July. Which is the reason I began a blog to keep record of my journey through this preparation process and during my travels and experiences. I am really, really nervous! I have never flown that far before! 10 days is such a long time to be away from home (for a home-body like me)! I am not sure about how to share my faith with those of another language that I don't speak! Oh, yeah, there are a number of reasons I have come up with to NOT go on this trip...and for a number of years. God is relentless though. LOL! He is not giving this one up....so I am giving in. (sigh)

I am going to be very honest during my blogs (real talk); I am both nervous and very excited for this journey that God has in store for not only me but my teenage daughter as well. In this latest growth phase of my life I have come to realize that while we may not always know our purpose in life, its important to keep praying for God to reveal our purpose to us so that we can begin to live the life we were called to live. Otherwise, it is kind of pointless right?